For me when times feel sooo hard..

Jangan kata 'musibah'. Mari cuba kata 'ujian'. Diturunkan oleh Allah swt kepada semua makhlukNya di atas kasih sayangNya. Saya yakin bagi saya ada lah kifarah dosa, mudahan diberi pahala. Bagi yang lain lebih baik dari saya yang semestinya semua, adalah bagi Dia menaikkan darjat kalian di sisiNya. Bukankah itu yang kita semua citakan?

Muhasabah dan berfikiran positif di sebalik semua , walau pun sangat sukar itulah yang terbaik, in shaa Allah..

Doa Selepas Solat Dhuha

Doa Selepas Solat Dhuha

Doa Selepas Solat Dhuha

اَللهُمَّ اِنَّ الضُّحَآءَ ضُحَاءُكَ، وَالْبَهَاءَ بَهَاءُكَ، وَالْجَمَالَ جَمَالُكَ، وَالْقُوَّةَ قُوَّتُكَ، وَالْقُدْرَةَ قُدْرَتُكَ، وَالْعِصْمَةَ عِصْمَتُكَ. اَللهُمَّ اِنْ كَانَ رِزْقي فِى السَّمَآءِ فَأَنْزِلْهُ وَاِنْ كَانَ فِى اْلاَرْضِ فَأَخْرِجْهُ وَاِنْ كَانَ مُعَسَّرًا فَيَسِّرْهُ وَاِنْ كَانَ حَرَامًا فَطَهِّرْهُ وَاِنْ كَانَ بَعِيْدًا فَقَرِّبْهُ بِحَقِّ ضُحَاءِكَ وَبَهَاءِكَ وَجَمَالِكَ وَقُوَّتِكَ وَقُدْرَتِكَ آتِنِىْ مَآاَتَيْتَ عِبَادَكَ الصَّالِحِيْنَ

Allahumma innadh dhuha-a dhuha-uka, wal bahaa-a bahaa-uka, wal jamaala jamaaluka, wal quwwata quwwatuka, wal qudrata qudratuka, wal ishmata ishmatuka. Allahuma inkaana rizqi fis samma-i fa anzilhu, wa inkaana fil ardhi fa-akhrijhu, wa inkaana mu’asaran fayassarhu, wainkaana haraaman fathahhirhu, wa inkaana ba’idan fa qaribhu, bihaqqiduhaa-ika wa bahaaika, wa jamaalika wa quwwatika wa qudratika, aatini maa ataita ‘ibadikash shalihin.

Maksudnya : “Ya Allah, sesungguhnya waktu dhuha adalah waktu dhuha-Mu, keagungan adalah keagunan-Mu, keindahan adalah keindahan-Mu, kekuatan adalah kekuatan-Mu, penjagaan adalah penjagaan-Mu, Ya Allah, apabila rezekiku berada di atas langit maka turunkanlah, apabila berada di dalam bumi maka keluarkanlah, apabila sukar mudahkanlah, apabila haram sucikanlah, apabila jauh dekatkanlah dengan kebenaran dhuha-Mu, kekuasaan-Mu (Wahai Tuhanku), datangkanlah padaku apa yang Engkau datangkan kepada hamba-hambaMu yang soleh”.

Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan's wise words II

Dear Self:

'We humans have an innate predisposition towards doing the right thing. It's called fitrah. When we violate the spiritual programming inside of us guilt is a security mechanism warning us that what we are doing is violating our soul. '

Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan : A reality check from Surah Al-Qiyamah

Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan's wise words..

'The vast majority of Muslims who receive an education would have received a modern education. As a result of that, even if we don't disbelieve in Allah swt, even if we don't disbelieve in akhirat, even if we don't disbelieve in soul and cleanliness of heart, FOR ALL PRACTICAL PURPOSES OUR ATTITUDES ARE NO DIFFERENT TO WHAT THE EUROPEAN REVOLUTION INTENDED : that what we don't disbelieve in: DOESN'T MATTER' - Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan : A reality check from Surah Al-Qiyamah.

Al-Fatihah MH17

There is probably just one thing I want to say on this. Upon hearing of the terrible tragedy that has befallen Malaysians yet again, I remembered about a video of Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan's which I then played on YouTube. In that video titled " Trials and Tribulations" he mentioned this of us:

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

 

Ustaz NAK said that 'He will not give us a trial we could not overcome with our ability" . I only know alhamdulillah of one thing I cannot face if it happened to me and that was my kids going before me in death. I then thought about what I wrote previously on Facebook when I saw countless of Mums crying over their dead children and Huda my dear friend from Singapore who wrote " I feel the same". Immediately that was my response in thought. My kids. Going before me. No no.

 

The sadness stuck with me through all of this morning and I prayed and prayed for the souls of all passengers on board MH17. But then, a friend txted me to say our work colleague was on that flight with her baby and sister. Although I knew her only by acquintance I feel deeply saddened. 

But, above all.. I thank Allah I was not placed in the situation her husband is in now.

 

Rest In Peace JC Ng, work colleague and friend...

Doa supaya hati ditetapkan iman

• 
  يامقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك
  'Yaa Muqallibal Quluub, Tsabbit Qalbi ‘Ala Diinik'
  
  Artinya: “Wahai Dzat yang membolak-balikkan hati, teguhkan hati kami di atas agama-Mu.”
  
[HR.Tirmidzi 3522, Ahmad 4/302, al-Hakim 1/525, Lihat Shohih Sunan Tirmidzi III no.2792]
• 
  يا مقــلـب لقــلــوب ثبــت قــلبـــي عــلى طـا عــتـك
  'Yaa Muqallibal Quluub, Tsabbit Qalbi ‘Ala Ta'atik'
  
  Artinya: “Wahai Dzat yg membolak-balikan hati teguhkanlah hatiku diatas ketaatan kepadamu”
  [HR. Muslim (no. 2654)]
• 
  اللَّهُمَّ مُصَرِّفَ الْقُلُوبِ صَرِّفْ قُلُوبَنَا عَلَى طَاعَتِكَ
  'Allaahumma Musharrifal Quluub, Sharrif Quluubanaa ‘Alaa Tho'atika'
  
  Artinya: “Ya Allah yang mengarahkan hati, arahkanlah hati-hati kami untuk taat kepadamu.” (HR. Muslim)
• 
  رَبَّنَا لَا تُزِغْ قُلُوبَنَا بَعْدَ إِذْ هَدَيْتَنَا وَهَبْ لَنَا مِنْ لَدُنْكَ رَحْمَةً إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ الْوَهَّابُ
  'Rabbabaa Laa Tuzigh Quluubanaa Ba’da Idz Hadaitanaa wa Hab Lana Mil-Ladunka Rahmatan Innaka Antal-Wahhaab'
  
  Artinya: “Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau jadikan hati kami condong kepada kesesatan sesudah Engkau beri petunjuk kepada kami, dan karuniakanlah kepada kami rahmat dari sisi Engkau; karena sesungguhnya Engkau-lah Maha Pemberi (karunia).”
  (QS. Ali Imran: 7)

Orang gila sahaja kata Tuhan itu tak ada

As a microbiologist quite used to streaking bacteria on an agar plate, I find today's supposedly mundane task extremely challenging when the bacteria which you require to show specific characteristics is affected by the time and how much you streak as they each have distinct life-cycle and autolysis phases. How much? What time is best time to streak?? 1 colony. Different growth phases. And 1 have at least 1000 on each of the 5 plates I streaked last night.

Such trademark stamp "This IS ME " created by Him even in minute life creatures like this.. SubhanAllah...

Sesungguhnya mana mana saintis yang kata Tuhan itu tiada; he's a farce. I am still struggling to understand the workings behind such vast knowledge like this. Dent in the boundary of accepted knowledge made by me? Not even close...

Baba's little piece of wisdom for me :-)

Mengadu to my other half today about my rubbish meeting with SV that didn't go quite as well as I'd hoped.. Mengadalah cerita.." I bawak data kat James tunjuk kat dia. Dia tengok, then kata ' interesting, but I don't know what that means'. I said to him 'Imagine that??' (masa ni tunjuk tensionlah)..

My Baba quietly replied : ' Ma, when your SV does not know what it means, then that's it. It's your area now. From now on he will just follow you now because he REALLY doesn't know. Who will? You. This is your PhD '

Wow what a statement. Thank you Fendi Arshad for putting things in perspective for me. I'm so lucky I have you who had been on this journey before and can now share the wisdom of it with me. Syukur alhamdulillah.

Zuhud : Probably the most difficult path to tread to gain nearness to Allah swt

Dear Self ,
One of the big things I understand in my journey towards understanding and hopefully wisdom in shaa Allah is Zuhud. It refers to one renouncing all worldly pleasures ( that do not bring benefit towards akhirat) in order to gain nearness to Allah swt.

In a blog I read by thesunnahway.com ( so they are not my words) Zuhud is defined as :


“Zuhud” is an Arabic word and a vital concept in Islam. The English meaning is asceticism which means renouncing worldly pleasures in order to gain nearness to Allah.

whereby some Islamic scholars define:

Ali ibn Abi Talib (ra) said “Asceticism is not that you should not own anything, but that nothing should own you.”

Ibn Taymiyyah said Zuhud is to leave alone things which not benefit you in the next life. He also said  ’Az-Zuhd entails abandoning what does not bring about benefit in the Hereafter. Al-Wara’ (abandoning a part of the permissible for fear of falling into the impermissible) entails abandoning what you fear its consequences in the Hereafter.’”

Then, ibn Al-Qayyim commented,”This statement is one of the best and most comprehensive definitions of Az-Zuhd and Al-Wara’.” In addition, Sufyan Ath-Thawry said,”Az-Zuhd in this Dunya entails having a short hope (or avoiding having hopes that one will live long), not by wearing the thick clothes or wearing the garment (as some people who observe fake Zuhd think is a part of Az-Zuhd).” this is part but pls read the attachment to fully understand what zuhd is and insha Allah it will answer the question the perosn who started the thread asked.

Ibn Taymiyyah also said Ikhlaas cannot be achieved except after having Zuhud, and there is no
Zuhud except after having Taqwa, and Taqwa is following the commands of Allaah and His Messenger) and keeping away from prohibitions. (Ibn Taymeeyah – ‘al-Fatawa’ 1/94)
Sufiyaan al Thauri said about Zuhud: “Zuhud is to have limited amount of expectations (very few hopes); it does not mean eating poor or inadequate foods as many think, or wearing a cheap gown or cloack”

Allah swt said regarding Zuhud “Thus, you should not grieve over anything you miss, nor be proud of anything He has bestowed upon you. GOD does not love those who are boastful, proud”. [57:23]
so zuhud in the above verse is defined as: not being over joyed with the glitters of the life of this world and not to regret things which have passed you by.

Ibn Mubarak said about zuhud: “It is having trust in Allah, and being content in times of poverty”

Abdul Waahid Ibn Zaaid said: “Zuhud can be practised by anyone even if he only possesses one deenar or dirahm”
Abi Sulimaan ad-Daa’raam said Zuhud means to leave, those things which distract you from Allah the Exalted and high and many Ulma have said this.

Ruweemul Ja’nayd said Zuhud is to belittle the dunya (this life) and to wipe away its traits from ones heart

Thu’il-Noon al-Misree said zuhud is controlling ones nafs (desires).
The asceticism of the salaf, their abstinence, their honour and rank, their refusal (to accept monies from the people

Shaikh Muqbil rahimahullah; for verily, by Allah, was a model in piety, abstinence and refusal of worldly matters. And he was given insight (by Allah) when he used to refuse money and warned against asking people. He used to launch a fierce attack on anyone who collected money in his (Shaikh Muqbil’s) name

Ahmad ibn Hanbal rahimahullah used to refuse money – and he is cited as a model of abstinence in his refusal and dignity when he traveled to Abdur Razzaaq from Iraq to San’aa. On the way, he and his companion, Yahya ibn Ma’een, performed Hajj and found Abdur Razzaaq in Makkah. So ibn Ma’een said to Ahmad: “Here is Abdur Razzaaq. Allah has brought him to us so we do not need to travel.” Ahmad replied: “I have made the intention to travel to San’aa so I will not return.” Then he traveled to Sanaa and on the way he ran out of money. When his companions found out, they offered him monetary assistance. But Imam Ahmad refused and instead opted to work as a porter for the bedouin camel owners, carrying loads on his back – and he was an Imam rahimahullah. He saw that porterage, work and eating from the sweat of ones own hands was better by thousands of times than taking money from the people; because the upper hand is the one that gives and the lower hand is the one that receives. And Ahmad did not want his hand to be the lower one, may Allah be pleased with him.

SubhanAllah. So grand in reward but so difficult to attain. Especially in this war in my heart of devil against malaikat. May I succeed. Amin.

memories of 1988 as told to my eldest son Arian

Eizad Arian : Here is my absolute favourite. This was the phrase my main speaker/rebutter Kak Zalifah said in the semi-finals against STF in the English Debate State Championships 1988:

"The opponents are so myopic that in trying to say we are short-sighted; they have actually made a SPECTACLE out of themselves."

At that time, we could hear a pin drop in the school hall packed full of people; followed by a raptourous applause. The STF students mouths were wide open and then we clinched the semi-finals from them. Just like that. Us from good ole unknown Segamat. Nobody had ever heard of Sekolah Menengah Cannossian Convent Segamat and their debate team until that day.And yes, we took the State Championship trophy home later on that afternoon.

Still gives me goosebumps talking about it today Arian, 26 years later.

Dear SELF 3/3 Surah Al-Mulk

Kelebihan Surah Al Mulk

Ibnu Abbas berkata: “Pada suatu hari ada seseorang menghampar jubahnya di atas kuburan dan ia tidak tahu bahwa tempat itu adalah kuburan, ia membaca surat Al-Mulk, kemudian ia mendengar suara jeritan dari kuburan itu: Inilah yang menyelamatkan aku. Kemudian kejadian itu diceriterakan kepada Rasulullah saw. Lalu beliau bersabda: Surat Al-Mulk dapat menyelamatkan penghuni kubur dari azab kubur.” (Ad-Da’awat Ar-Rawandi, hlm 279/817; Al-Bihar 82/ 64, 92/313/2, 102/269/

Imam Muhammad Al-Baqir (sa) berkata: “Surat Al-Mulk adalah penghalang dari siksa kubur, surat ini termaktub di dalam Taurat, barangsiapa yang membacanya di malam hari ia akan memperoleh banyak manfaat dan kebaikan, …Sungguh aku membacanya dalam shalat sunnah sesudah Isya’ dalam keadaan duduk. Ayahku (sa) membacanya pada siang dan malam. Barangsiapa yang membacanya, maka ketika malaikat Munkar dan Nakir akan masuk ke kuburnya dari arah kedua kakinya, kedua kakinya berkata kepada mereka: kalian tidak ada jalan ke arahku, karena hamba ini berpijak padaku lalu ia membaca surat Al-Mulk setiap siang dan malam; ketika mereka datang kepadanya dari rongganya, rongganya berkata kepada mereka: kalian tidak ada jalan ke arahku, karena hamba ini telah menjagaku dengan surat Al-Mulk; ketika mereka datang kepadanya dari arah lisannya, lisannya berkata kepada mereka: kalian tidak ada jalan ke arahku, karena hamba ini telah membaca surat Al-Mulk setiap siang dan malam denganku.” (Al-Kafi 2/233/hadis 2)

Imam Muhammad Al-Baqir (sa): “Bacalah surat Al-Mulk, karena surat ini menjadi penyelamat dari siksa kubur.”

Dear SELF 2/3 Surah Ar-Rahman

Dear Self:

Kelebihan Surah Ar Rahman

1. Rasulullah saw bersabda: “Barangsiapa yang membaca surat Ar-Rahman, Allah akan menyayangi kelemahannya dan meridhai nikmat yang dikaruniakan padanya.” (Tafsir Nur Ats-Tsaqalayn 5/187).

2. Imam Ja’far Ash-shadiq (sa) berkata: “Barangsiapa yang membaca surat Ar-Rahman, dan ketika membaca kalimat ‘Fabiayyi âlâi Rabbikumâ tukadzdzibân’, ia mengucapkan: Lâ bisyay-in min âlâika Rabbî akdzibu (tidak ada satu pun nikmat-Mu, duhai Tuhanku, yang aku dustakan), jika saat membacanya itu pada malam hari kemudian ia mati, maka matinya seperti matinya orang yang syahid; jika membacanya di siang hari kemudian mati, maka matinya seperti matinya orang yang syahid.” (Tsawabul A’mal, hlm 117).

3. Imam Ja’far Ash-Shadiq (sa) berkata: “Jangan tinggalkan membaca surat Ar-Rahman, bangunlah malam bersamanya, surat ini tidak menentramkan hati orang-orang munafik, kamu akan menjumpai Tuhannya bersamanya pada hari kiamat, wujudnya seperti wujud manusia yang paling indah, dan baunya paling harum. Pada hari kiamat tidak ada seorangpun yang berdiri di hadapan Allah yang lebih dekat dengan-Nya daripadanya. Pada saat itu Allah berfirman padanya: Siapakah orang yang sering bangun malam bersamamu saat di dunia dan tekun membacamu. Ia menjawab: Ya Rabbi, fulan bin fulan, lalu wajah mereka menjadi putih, dan ia berkata kepada mereka: Berilah syafaat orang-orang yang mencintai kalian, kemudian mereka memberi syafaat sampai yang terakhir dan tidak ada seorang pun yang tertinggal dari orang-orang yang berhak menerima syafaat mereka. Lalu ia berkata kepada mereka: Masuklah kalian ke surga, dan tinggallah di dalamnya sebagaimana yang kalian inginkan.” (Tsawabul A’mal, hlm 117).

Dear SELF 1/3 Surah Al-Waqiah

One of three Suraahs I must memorize and read on a daily basis :

Dear SELF

Kelebihan Surah Al Waqiah

Ubay bin Ka’b berkata bahwa Rasulullah saw bersabda: “Barangsiapa yang membaca surat Al-Wâqi’ah, ia akan dicatat tidak tergolong pada orang-orang yang lalai.” (Tafsir Nur Ats-Tsaqalayn 5/203).

Abdullah bin Mas’ud berkata bahwa Rasulullah saw bersabda: “Barangsiapa yang membaca surat Al-Waqi’ah, ia tidak akan tertimpa oleh kefakiran selamanya.” .” (Tafsir Nur Ats-Tsaqalayn 5/203).

Imam Ja’far Ash-Shadiq (sa) berkata: “Barangsiapa yang membaca surat Al-Waqi’ah pada malam Jum’at, ia akan dicintai oleh Allah, dicintai oleh manusia, tidak melihat kesengsaraan, kefakiran, kebutuhan, dan penyakit dunia; surat ini adalah bagian dari sahabat Amirul Mukimin (sa) yang bagi beliau memiliki keistimewaan yang tidak tertandingi oleh yang lain.” (Tafsir Nur Ats-Tsaqalayn 5/203).

Imam Ja’far Ash-Shadiq (sa) berkata: “Barangsiapa yang merindukan surga dan sifatnya, maka bacalah surat Al-Waqi’ah; dan barangsiapa yang ingin melihat sifat neraka, maka bacalah surat As-Sajadah.” (Tsawabul A’mal, hlm 117).

Imam Muhammad Al-Baqir (sa) berkata: “Barangsiapa yang membaca surat Al-Waqi’ah sebelum tidur, ia akan berjumpa dengan Allah dalam keadaan wajahnya seperti bulan purnama.” (Tsawabul A’mal, )

Terima kasih Ya Allah di atas ilmu yang dipelajari

Looking back at yesterday and I cannot believe that I had run PCR, gel electrophoresis, RNA extraction, DNA purification, Nanodrop quantitation, analysed chromatograms for MLST sequencing in one day; and RT-PCR and mouse experiments with 6 week old Swiss mice last week ; with ease. Syukur, syukur alhamdulillah.

These used to be the things that for my work colleagues and undergraduate friends will know, I will run away very very quickly from because they just scared the  life out of me.

It sure looks indeed that this old fashioned microbiologist has finally embraced molecular biology with love. Syukur to Allah for this wonderful opportunity at ilmu.
Now ; to finish the thesis. And go HOME as planned. ASAP. Amin...

KELEBIHAN SOLAT TAHAJJUD

KELEBIHAN SOLAT TAHAJJUD
1. Tahajjud adalah solat sunat yang paling afdal.
2. Doa dimakbulkan Allah.
3. Memperolehi ketenangan jiwa.
4. Merasai diri hampir kepada Allah SWT.
5. Diberikan keistimewaan oleh Allah SWT.
6. Memperolehi pertolongan dan rahmat Allah.
7. Menewaskan gangguan dan godaan syaitan.
8. Mencegah dosa dan menghindari penyakit.
9. Menjadi lebih berdisiplin dalam melakukan tugas.
10. Allah SWT memudahkan menerima ilmu yang dipelajari.
11. Terkeluar daripada catatan sebagai golongan yang lalai.
12. Dihormati masyarakat dan dijauhi daripada hasad dengki
manusia.
13. Allah SWT memberikan kemudahan dan rezeki yang
berpanjangan.
14. Orang bersolat Tahajud menjadi kesayangan Allah SWT.
15. Diberi keistimewaan yang orang lain tidak perolehi.
16. Mendapat kemuliaan Allah SWT di dunia dan akhirat.
17. Meninggikan martabat seorang hamba di sisi Allah Azza Wa Jalla.
18. Memudahkan hisab di akhirat dan melintasi Titian Siratal-
Mustaqim.

Surah Rahman - Mishary Rashid Al Afasy سورة الرحمن - مشاري العفاسي

SubhanAllah ..EVERYTIME I hear this surah my heart will become very calm..Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for everything you have endowed to me your humble servant, hina dan selalu menzalimi diri sendiri..



Also, this surah makes me think of Arian... Mama miss dia; mama dengar Surah ni..it's his favourite..



Ya Allah, selamatkan Arian dan Gagi anak anakku dimana jua mereka berada..

Dear SELF:

'Apabila kita takut kepada Allah, semua makhluk akan takut kepada kita, maka bangkitlah kekuatan kita untuk menghadapi ketakutan '

- Ustaz Pahrol Mohamad Juoi "Berani Menghadapi Takut - IKIMFM"

Dear SELF

Tanda-tanda orang yang mengingat mati : ( Mati bukan untuk ditakut,tapi untuk diingat)

1) Menambah dan tidak menangguhkan ibadah
2) Mempercepatkan taubat
3) Menghindarkan dari maksiat

- Ustaz Pahrol Mohamad Juoi

Amin.. Untuk peringatan saya semestinya yang selalu sangat lupa

Syukur alhamdulillah for a good day

So..hari ni RT-PCR worked for both 16s and LuxS, opaque isolates were really opaque when observed on catalase plates and esok cuti..
Lagi satu, mana dalam dunia orang boleh dapat supervisor yang heavily funded so money's no question, hundreds of publication tapi baik gila? And co-supervisor yang mental tapi kerja semua menjadi and such a laugh to work with...

Syukur alhamdulillah..bila hari elok..yang lain lain kurang penting.. biarpun duit seposen dalam poket.

What a roller coaster week it has been!

What do you know.. It is now Sunday and at 7.40 am I am still in my duvet reading my latest happy steal from Dymock's Burnside yesterday and gleefully sipping my mug of hot chocolate. It has been a pretty good week although the last three days preceeding to Friday was a bit rubbish. Monday started off very well with good comments from James on my mice experiments and getting us all stoked up for tissue LuxS expression which when we did on Tuesday didn't work as the RNA yield/quality was too poor. Culture experiments then on Thursday and Friday also didnt work so that bummed me a little.

All the same yesterday my housemates : Zira, Pae and I decided to go for an outing to the Burnside village and we ended up having a nice time. The clothes in ZARA were especially spectacular looking and I think I am going to get myself a couple decent ones for Hari Raya. This is probably the first time I am actually looking forward to buying clothes here in Adelaide. Not that I am stuck up or stuff but until yesterday I always felt like the clothes here SUCKED. I am so used to lovely designs from Laura Ashley, East India @ Metrojaya that over here everything looked so dull. So I am excitedly waiting for my allowance to come in May and then shop!

I also happily found 1Q84 which I had been looking for a long time so that was really good as well. We also went to a few shops which I really liked such as Oroton, Villeroy and Boch before having really nice coffee and desserts at Bracegirdles. Ah..such is the luxurious life of Burnside :-)

So, although from Weds to Friday work sucked I am glad I had yesterday's outing with my Kent Town sisters. Today we are also going to the IndoFest in the afternoon so I am looking forward to that too. Syukur alhamdulillah. Life's good.

Allah ku yang hakiki

Hati saya selalu tertanya, kenapa saya selalu terasa dengan dia sedang kan dialah yang paling saya sayang melebihi segala galanya?

Rupa-rupanya , Allah nak ajar saya jangan jadi kan dia dewa. Seperti saya, dia juga manusia. Dan seperti saya, dia juga sementara.

Still stumped by the glorious power of Allah swt who graced His love on me on a day that I least expected

Today was supposed to be a normal ordinary Monday.

Last week, Claudia and I completed an initial mouse challenge experiment to look at the colonization patterns of two strains of Serotype 14 pneumos of high biofilm foramtion capacity belonging to the same ST type, one blood and and ear isolate. In the first 24 hours of challenge, 3 animals of out of 5 in the blood isolate group looked sick so we got pretty excited; as the mice challenged with the ear isolates showed no sickness. Somehow in 48 hours it looked as if the mice had managed to clear the infection and of course the mice/ears showed nothing. True enough by the harvest day of 72 hours we honestly did not know what to expect.

Somehow, when we did the cfu counts of the two strains, the patterns of migration of bacteria showed an entirely different story. As opposed to the serotype 3 isolates where the ears migrated to ears and blood was in blood, 5/5 blood isolates moved to lungs in mice and 5/5 ear isolates moved to the brain!

Although we were excited that at least our results were showing something we thought we see James and asked him what he thought when he comes in today.

So, today came. Claudia and I went in told him of the results and expected soemthing boring from him - like a yes to what we proposed for investigating this further with more mice when suddenly he beamed with delight and got very excited. His words were ' You need to call Adrienne - his wife/senior scientist '. And when she came in..for the first time in my life being here nearly 3 years he said - ZARINA found this!!!!

I will not say what the findings were as although I would love to, I cannot ( paper pending data apparently so tak boleh cakap lah). But SubhanAllah, I was so surprised when he said 'FANTASTIC!!' Smiled at me and said.. after so long of hitting your head against the wall you finally got something!! I couldn't believe it. In my heart all I could say was 'Syukur alhamdulillah , what I wanted I finally got. His approval that I wasn't here wasting my time '. He then preceeded excitedly to do more stuff involving more people including Adrienne, Caherine and Austen; and then chatted excitedly like I used to with him when I first came.

After we went back into the lab to discuss our RT-PCR protocol he went back in to see us and said that Adrienne would like to work on invasion and adhesion assay to help us give a clearer picture of what is happening. Not to mention that while in his room he straight away did stats on my work and said..YES ! It is significant statistically!!

So now we are doing some more stuff to help us shed more light on what we have found. But what I think I wanted to say here is:

"SubhanAllah, Walhamdulillah, Walaillahaillalah wallahuakbar"

Never in a million years did I expect that today James is going to be happy that I finally got something. He and Claudia have been the best supervisors in the world Allah swt has given me his humble servant ; but through my challenges I always felt I was letting them down for not giving the results I ought to.

Today proved I have. Somehow. Not sure I understand it yet but perhaps when I come home later I will.

Terima kasih Ya Allah. Kau telah mengurniakan hambaMu yang hina ini satu penghargaan yang besar di dalam perjalanan ku sebagai seorang pelajar. Walaupun aku banyak berdosa. Walaupun aku lalai. Walaupun aku tidak layak.

Dalam gembira, saya sedih. Sedih kerana saya yang sebenarnya sebesar hama kerana dosa dan alpa Allah beri limpah kurnianya yang sangat besar. Bukan saya mendewa makhluk ciptaanNya, tetapi James Paton, my supervisor is one of the biggest names in the world for pneumococcal pathogenesis. And for him to say I had dome something fantastic.. well all I can say is now; I am still stumped.

Syukur alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah my Lord, creator, hope and help for everything. Thank you so much.

Hikam ke 2

Al-Hikam: Kalam Hikmah 2: Ketentuan Allah dan Penghidupan Manusia

( Taken with thanks from FB Ceramah Online untuk pencerahan saya )

Kalam Hikmah 2: Ketentuan Allah dan Penghidupan Manusia

Dalam Kalam Hikmah  kedua  Imam Ibnu Athaillah Askandary menyatakan "Kehendak anda kepada tajrid di samping Allah SWT mendirikan (meletakkan) anda didalam asbaab (causes) adalah merupakan syahwat yang tidak nampak dilihat. Kehendak anda kepada asbab disamping Allah mendirikan anda didalam tajrid bererti turun dari himmah (determination) Yang Maha Tinggi."

Pengertian Kalam Hikmah diatas sebagai berikut:-
  Perkataan "Al-Asbaab " (causes), maksudnya ialah: "Sesuatu yang sampai dengannya kepada maksud yang dicapai di dalam dunia."

Yakni segala sesuatu dimana dengannya kita boleh sampai untuk maksud-maksud yang diperlukan di dalam kehidupan duniawi. Misalnya mencari rezeki yang halal atau bekerja dalam sifat yang diridhai Allah SWT.

Perkataan "At-Tajrid " (divestment) ialah " Melepaskan diri dari Al-Asbaab (causes).

Manusia dalam penghidupan terbahagi kepada dua macam;

1. "Manusia yang ditentukan Allah dalam status Al-Asbaab".
Manusia dalam status ini untuk menghasilkan penghidupannya dalam dunia adalah dengan jalan bekerja. Manusia distatus ini perlu bekerja untuk hidup. Bekerja dengan perkerjaan yang Allah redhai. Jika tidak bekerja, ia tidak boleh menjalani kehidupan dengan sewajarnya. Apabila kehidupan selamat, tenteram dengan pekerjaan yang dilakukan ini, menurut akhlak ilmu tasawuf, dia tidak boleh meninggalkan pekerjaan tersebut untuk berpindah kepada status yang lain, yakni meninggalkan pekerjaan yang sudah berkat itu kerana tujuan semata-mata melaksanakan ibadat kepada Allah SWT.

Dengan maksud yang mudah difahami "Orang ini telah berkerja dengan pekejaan yang Allah redha , kemudian dia berhenti dari bekerja untuk melakukan ibadat sahaja seperti mahu beriktikaf di masjid dengan berhenti berniaga". Bila dia meninggalkan pekerjaan dan beribadat sahaja tanpa menghiraukan penghidupan, menurut akhlak ilmu tasawuf, terdapat syahwat yang tersembunyi di dalam dirinya. Disebut dengan "syahwat " kerana tidak mau menuruti atau tidak mahu sejalan dengan dengan kehendak Allah. Sedangkan Allah berkehendak pada kemaslahatan setiap manusia itu dalam hidup dan kehidupannya agar bekerja, beramal dan berusaha.

Arti "tersembunyi " yakni syahwat itu disebut dengan syahwat yang tersembunyi (the closed desire), ialah bercita-cita besar untuk menghampirkan diri semata-mata kepada Allah untuk kebahagiaan ukhrawi tetapi kehidupan duniawi menjadi kucar-kacir dan menyusahkan orang (kerana berhenti bekerja). Bercita-cita begini pada dasarnya baik, tetapi pada hakikatnya sudah menyimpang dari ketentuan Allah.

2. "Manusia yang ditentukan Allah dalam status Tajrid ". 
Manusia dalam tingkatan status ini sudah tinggi nilainya pada sisi Allah.

Penghidupannya telah dipermudahkan oleh Allah, sehingga ia tidak sulit lagi dalam hidup dan kehidupan. Dia tidak perlu lagi bekerja dan berusaha mencari rezeki, tetapi rezekilah yang datang kepadanya.

Terdapat dua gambaran manusia yang berada distatus ini.

(a) Manusia ini bekerja dan berusaha tetapi seolah-olah dia bekerja sebagai iseng-iseng belaka, kerana hatinya tertuju selalu bagaimana ia dapat melaksanakan ajaran agama dengan sebaik-baiknya dan bagaimana ia selalu taqwa kepada Allah SWT. Maka manusia semacam ini meskipun ia beramal dan bekerja, tetapi tidak memberatkan otaknya, bahkan Allah memudahkan rezekinya dan memberikan keberkatan pada usahanya yang tidak terkiranya sama sekali.

Lihat Surah At-Thalaq: Ayat 2-3

"Barang siapa yang bertaqwa kepada Allah, maka Allah akan memberikan jalan keluar (dari kesulitan-kesulitan) untuk orang itu. Dan Allah akan memberikan rezeki kepadanya dari (sumber-sumber) yang tidak pernah difikirkan. Dan barang siapa yang tawakkal kepada Allah, maka Allah akan mencukupkan keperluannya. Sesungguhnya Tuhan itu melaksanakan kehendakkanya. Sungguh Tuhan itu melaksanakan kehendakNya. Syngguhnya Allah telah menqadarkan bagi tiap-tiap sesuatu".

b) Ada manusia yang sama sekali tidak bekerja dan berusaha, selain hanya beribadat saja kepada Allah Yang Maha Esa. Beribadat ini ada macam-macam sifatnya. Contohnya Tuan Guru yang mengajar di pondok-pondok. Mereka mengajar tanpa memungut upah tetapi mendidik dan membimbing manusia kepada ajaran-ajaran agama. Mereka tidak bekerja hanya menuntun manusia kepada kebaikkan sahaja. Mereka tidak bertani, berniaga atau bersawah, tetapi rezeki mereka sentiasa ada. Mereka juga tidak memiliki harta. Segala rezeki datang kepada mereka, dihantar oleh petani, atau nelayan atau pedagang atau sesiapa saja mengikut tempat dimana tuan guru itu tinggal.

Hamba-hamba Allah yang telah diangkat martabatnya oleh Allah ke makam tajrid seperti di bahagian dua di atas, maka akhlak tasawuf menganjurkan kepadanya supaya jangan turun ke maqam Al-Asbaab. Jika ia turun ke makam asbaab bererti ia menurunkan nilai dirinya dari himmah (tekad) yang bermutu tinggi. Maksudnya ia jangan turun untuk bekerja dan berusaha seperti orang-orang biasa, kerana jika ia turun ke tingkat ini, maka ibadatnya akan terganggu, keberkahan yang telah diberikan Allah kepadanya akan dicabut Allah SWT.

Maka tiap-tiap status yang telah ditentukan oleh Allah kepada manusia mesti diterima dengan redha dan ikhlas. Meskipun maqam-maqam antara kita sesama manusia berlainan, kita tidak boleh cuba-cuba memindahkan diri dari satu maqam ke maqam yang lain. Samada ke maqam yang lebih tinggi atau ke maqam yang lebih rendah, seperti dari asbaab ke tajrid atau tajrid ke asbaab kecuali Allah yang memindahkan. Seperti Allah tidak lagi memberkati kita pada satu-satu maqam hingga kita harus berpindah daripadanya.

Contoh, pekerjaan yang dilakukan sehari-hari tidak lagi menguntungkan baik pada dunia atau pada agama, namun dia tetap berkewajiban membereskan duniawi dan ukhrawi sebagaimana sepatutnya. Dengan itu telah ada keinginan Allah untuk memindahkan maqam orang tersebut.

Apabila kita berada pada hidup dan kehidupan, selalulah berpegang kepada Allah, bertawakkal, menyerahkan diri dan tidak melupakanNya. Maka Allah yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang akan menuntun kita ke jalan yang benar. Seperti surah Ali Imran, ayat 101:

"Barang siapa yang berpegang teguh kepada Allah, maka sesungguhnya orang itu telah diberikan petunjuk kepada jalan yang lurus (benar) ".

Ambil lah manafaat daripada kata-kat hikmah di atas, moga-moga Allah selalu menuntun kita kepada jalan yang benar dan lurus.

Syukur alhamdulillah for a good week spent with kids

Assalamualaikum everyone,
Today marks the end of the first term school holidays for schoolchildren in Malaysia. Tomorrow Gagi will be going back to school which I hope he will look forward to. Just now I also said my goodbyes to Arian who has since gone back to his school, MCKK. Atuk, Nenek and his Baba Jai sent him and when we last spoke he seems to be looking forward to going back to school tomorrow. I think he has had a restful enjoyable one week holiday.

Syukur alhamdulillah, although I did not manage to come home this time to be with them, Allah swt has graced me with His permission to be able to facetime with them everyday this past week. Not only that my work only required me to be around in the morning so I always went home early to lepak with them via facetime. Arian when I first saw him surprised me a little bit with his appearance. He has grown very tall. Unsurprisingly he had lost a lot of weight. All the same he was still the same manja 'Chebobot' of mine as he would want to talk to me everyday and see my face on Facetime even when we didn't have much to say. But that didn't mean we didnt have a lot to talk about. LOADS!!! I am so glad I got to spend time with him because after I saw him last in January I think I only spoke to him three times for just a few minutes.

He enjoys his school but did confess to feeling overwhelmed with everything that he had to do by himself. Plus the fact that he did not do very well in his recent first term Test. Nevertheless, I tried my best to make him feel better by giving him loads of advice and words of encouragement. Especially when he was going through all the stuff that I did when I first arrived here. So I hope what I said has helped.

So now he has gone back to Koleq. I truly miss him and berdoa kepada Allah swt supaya memudahkan segala urusan pelajaran serta hidupnya di sana. I love you Abang. Mama sentiasa berdoa untuk kejayaan Abang dunia dan akhirat.

Likewise for Gagi. Now this is one boy who never FAIL to cheer me up every time. With all his strange antics from tales of Sherlock right up to seluar pelikat..dialah buah hati pengarang jantung Mama. The only challenge is for me in trying to skype /ft two kids in different locations and giving them equal time. Gagi will always say ' when will you have time for me??? ' Gagi..Gagi..

Baba pulak, is doing ok alhamdulillah. Cuma semakin sibuk. Tapi semakin comel..hehe..

Love you guys sooo much . Semoga Allah swt sentiasa mempermudahkan urusan you all dan memurahkan rezeki semua.

Likewise for my sisters and brothers, in laws, Mak, Abah, and all my darling friends. last but not least; for me. Amin

The price of wanting goodness for yourself and others

There are times in life when one feels that because you see goodness and you want goodness; out of a thing or someone you put your best effort to bring out that goodness in someone; so that in shaa Allah some of the goodness will also rub on you and bring you closer to Allah swt's blessings. No matter what the challenge. No matter what people say. All because you think you see the 'potential' that exists.

Sometimes things may not be what they seem. What if what you think you see isn't real ; or just a smokescreen ? What if what you see is what you want to see out of your zealous eagerness of wanting the goodness of someone to actually materialize; when in actual fact it really isn't there? What do you do then?

I think today of all days there exist two situations in which I am inclined to feel I may be wrong about some people and their situations. I do believe I have overstepped my boundaries in wanting what is right for them; as it might be that I have become confused as to what this really ought to be. That what I want is not what they want; no matter how right I think it is.

Perhaps it is indeed true what they say : You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.
You know, I think I have tried my best. I am now older than I used to be before with more responsibilities and less energy. Perhaps I best concentrate my remaining energy on what really matters. And who. So a thousand apologies to everyone out there who might have come away from me thinking " Yeah you think you might have said the right thing; but duh..do I need to hear it? " My sincere wish is only goodness for everyone whom I know, love and care about. As a responsibility and because I care.

Assalamualaikum.